Cold War Ver 2
by CrimsonDreamer13
Summary: Because mixing a Russian and American together just isn't a smart idea.


**Title:** Cold War ver. 2**  
Author/Artist:** CrimsonDreamer13  
**Character(s) or Pairing(s):** America, Russia, Japan, England, Sealand and other countries that are only mentioned in the fanfic (The Bad Trio, Germany, N. Italy, S. Italy)**  
Rating: **K+  
**Warnings:** Slight cursing, a bit cracky  
**Summary: **Because mixing a Russian and American together just isn't a smart idea.

* * *

"Oh? Do tell me, Ivan, what other idea you could suggest?" Alfred spoke sweetly, a frighteningly bright smile on his face as he did so.

It had been another one of those useless group meetings regarding how to stop global warming, with Alfred suggesting that they make a 'huge shield to cover the Earth and protect it from the UV rays.' But, unlike the usual routine, it was Ivan who interrupted and said that 'it's an idiotic idea.' There was a smile on his face when he said so, naturally.

"I could suggest that you tell your people to stop adding to the pollution, but you wouldn't know how to do that, would you?" Ivan replied with just as much sweetness in his tone –if not more so-, a wide smile on his face that practically radiated danger.

Alfred laughed. "What about your people, hm? They aren't doing any harm at all?"

"Oh, I never said that." Ivan giggled. "I'm just saying that you're worse off, is all. Maybe I could help you tell your people not to pollute the environment as much?"

"Huh," Alfred raised an eyebrow, still smiling, "how'd you help me with that?"

"I could teach you to, hm, train them." Ivan nodded with a smile. "Like you do with dogs, yes?"

Alfred laughed harder at that. "_Really? _Maybe we should try that with you first!"

Ivan didn't even flinch at the harsh tone of Alfred's voice, nor did he back away when the space that separated him and the other man became so small that he could smell the burger that the American ate just before the meeting. "Ah? No, no, you don't have to." He laughed. "I'm already perfectly trained, after all. I don't know about you, though."

All the other nations were just standing in a corner, expressions of incredulity, fright and exasperation on their faces. There were also the crying faces of two Italians, tired ones from Arthur and Ludwig, and amused ones from Gilbert, Antonio and Francis. All in all, not one of them wanted to test the Russian's or the American's patience. Merely the idea of it was suicidal.

"Haha, perfectly trained? Are you sure about that?" Alfred's lips twitched a bit from their permanent smiling position. "Because from what I remember, you were the one who went rabid on us the last few centuries or so."

"Aha, what a cute joke, Alfred!" Ivan laughed, the danger level of his smile reaching sky high. "Like all your other jokes; they're not very funny."

"And all your jokes are just so funny, yeah?" Alfred moved closer towards Ivan, their noses practically bumping together as he leered back at the Russian.

"Yes, well-"

_Sha la la la la la_

_My oh my_

_Looks like the boy's too shy_

_Ain't gonna kiss the girl_

_Sha la la la la la_

_Ain't that sad_

_It's such a shame-_

"Bloody hell, Peter, stop that!"

The high-pitched and grating voice stopped its singing at that exclamation, the owner of said voice's teal blue eyes widening in confusion and surprise. "Eh? But why should I stop, Arthu-"

"Shush!" Arthur hissed as he covered Peter's mouth, pulling him to the farthest corner away from the Russian and American pair in the middle of the room.

There was silence after that sudden bout of activity from Peter Kirkland, only tense breaths from the nations in the corner being heard in that moment of quietness. What will Alfred and Ivan do? Would they find Peter for being a disturbance? Would Arthur be blamed for Peter's further aggravation of the pair in the center of the room? Everyone in the corner could practically _explode_ from all the suspense.

Alfred quirked an eyebrow. "Now that was...weird."

Ivan shrugged. "I share the sentiment."

Everyone tensed more at that, all of them thinking simultaneously: _Are they actually getting along? Oh god, is the world going to end now? Are we all doomed for another Cold War ver. 2?_

Their thoughts were put to an abrupt halt when Alfred started laughing again, the non-dangerous aura it emitted somehow calming everyone. Ivan laughed as well, a bit more softly than the American's- but still a laugh, nonetheless. Everyone relaxed at that, tired but happy smiles on their faces as they made to leave the room until-

_We're no strangers to love_

_You know the rules, and so do I_

_A full commitment's what I'm thinking of_

_You wouldn't get this from any other guy_

_I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling_

_Gotta make you understand_

_Never g-_

"I-I'm so sorry, everyone." Kiku bowed humbly with a blush gracing his cheeks, hand still trembling after turning off the iPod in his pocket. He muttered something incoherent under his breath before removing the earphones hanging around his neck, pocketing them quickly while murmuring something that sounded like, "damn, I shouldn't have pulled too hard on the earphones."

Alfred could only gape at him. "Oh my god, Kiku. Did you just rick-roll us?"

Kiku shrugged. "Yes, well, I lost the game."

"...damn."

* * *

**A/N: ** LOL. I'm sorry, guys. Just so sorry. /dies

lmao please don't hurt me for making such a stupid fic ;;;;;; -hides in a hole- I'm so sorry you guys orz

I just needed a break from all the angst and...yeah. As you've read, I am a failure when it comes to these kinds of things. =_= /keels over


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